Seriously?

So, Jerry calls me this morning at home and asks me if he left his wallet. I look and find that he has indeed left it in our room. I am reluctant to ask if he wants me to bring it to him because I know that I have a meeting in St. Charles today that I am supposed to leave for at 8:30 am and it is currently 7:15 am. He does indeed need the wallet, of course, and is taking a special class so he is over at the main campus. This puts another crimp in my plans because that is a 15min trip rather than the normal 5 min. it would have been had he just reported to his own office today. So, I agree to take the wallet to his car and this now means that I must leave the house within the next 15 minutes if I am going to be back in time to take the older two to school because it is pouring rain outside. I quickly dress and gather them in the kitchen to explain that Jerry has forgotten his wallet and I am going to take it to him while they continue to get dressed, eat breakfast and make their lunches, ON THEIR OWN. While I am explaining this I am putting lipstick on at the kitchen counter. When I am done speaking Eli says, "Mom, I don't think this is really a good time for lipstick." WHAT!@#$%^&* He is completely serious. I look and him and tell him " Eli, I am going out looking my best." He laughs. Seriously, it's always a good time for lipstick, right girls?

A Lesson for Little Men

So, I'm in the kitchen this morning while the kids are getting ready for school. I'm wearing a white maternity turtle neck, one of those super flattering ones that bell at the bottom. Eli comes in and says, "Mom, why are you wearing lots of big clothes lately."

My eyes I'm sure darted to Jerry, before I answer that my stomach is growing because of the baby and my "normal" clothes don't fit anymore.

Jerry quickly pulls both boys aside and proceeds to give his little men a lesson in how to talk to women. It went something like this...

Jerry: " Boys, you never, ever say that a woman looks fat or is getting bigger."
Eli: (Defensively) "Dad, I didn't say that Mom is fat."
Jerry: "Yes I know, but when you say her clothes is getting bigger, that's like the same thing to her."
Eli: "Oh."
Jerry: " So boys what do we never say to a woman?"
Jacob: "You look fat."
Eli: "Your clothes look bigger."
Jerry: "That's right. And never let them have your wallet, they'll take your money."

Changing Names

So, Jacob and I are listening to Rockstar, by Nickelback the other day and he says the following:

Jacob: I like this song.
Me: Me too.
Jacob: Is it a Christian song?
Me: No.
Jacob: I like this song and Christian songs.
Me: Me too.
Jacob: I like the part when he says he's going to cut his hair and change his name.
Me: Really?
Jacob: Yeah, I wish I could change my name to a really COOL name.
Me: Really? Well if you could change your name to a really cool name, what name would you pick?

Jacob: ............................................................................ Joey.

Seriously, I really wanted to laugh out loud on that one. I guess we should have named him after Jerry's Dad. Who knew?